You’ve asked it… to yourself, to your family, to your friends, probably more than once. Why is my child turning against me? Why are they pulling away, repeating things that aren’t theirs, looking at you like you’re the one who did something wrong? What you’re seeing didn’t start when you noticed it. It started a …
It’s a school night. Your daughter was supposed to be home at nine. The door opens at ten-thirty, and she walks past you without looking up, goes straight to her room, closes the door. You’re standing in the hallway holding the conversation you’d prepared. You’d thought through exactly what to say. You’d rehearsed the part …
Someone called it estrangement. Maybe your custody evaluator wrote it in their report. Maybe your child’s therapist said it in the meeting. Maybe your own attorney said it on the phone, lowering their voice like they were delivering a medical diagnosis. I want to tell you, before anything else, that it’s the wrong word. I …
Before you read any further, I want you to do something. Press play on this song. Then come back. I’ll wait. That song? That’s a child’s interior world, put into words and most children never get to say this out loud. It’s the voice of a child who learned to take up less space. Who …
When Systems Misread Power, Harm Becomes Invisible One of the most persistent failures in child abuse and family court cases is not indifference to children’s safety. It is a failure of interpretation. Coercive control is still widely treated as a relationship problem rather than what it actually is: a structural form of abuse rooted in …
Protective parents often notice changes in their children that are hard to explain to others. The child may seem more anxious than before. They may withdraw. They may insist everything is fine when it clearly is not. Sometimes they seem emotionally distant in ways that don’t match who they used to be. These changes are …
I want to speak directly to protective parents who feel caught in the middle of an argument they never asked to be part of. Many of you have been told that what happened to you and your children is called “parental alienation.” Others have been told that the term itself is harmful and should never …
There are moments in coercive control where nothing seems to make sense. If you have ever wondered why professionals sometimes get it wrong or why you may have doubted yourself along the way, I want to offer a framework that brings clarity. For more than forty years, across clinical practice, research, and my own lived …
Introduction There is a particular kind of heaviness that protective parents carry.A question that circles quietly in the back of the mind: “How did I not see it?” “How did this happen in my own home?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, I want you to know something before we go any further. You …